why is it when i feel the best,
no one is around.
maybe i am the best,
and i just forget.
i cannot settle within myself the uneasy peace of living a small life.
there can be beauty there,
but the moments that create sustaining,
become harder to find amongst piles of obligation.
we create these tasks,
gather these possessions,
& delve into rhythmic relationships that all require maintenance.
i am comfortable within the walls of a close existence,
until i become unmotivated amidst my tedium,
unable to find inspiration,
& i notice the choices of others.
comparisons are meaningless,
but they can knock loose the doubt from my unstable,
once i truly root in a decision,
i hope i find meaning,
and yet i fear i will lose insight.